How can I tell if my friend is busy or burnt out?

Recently, I was asked about the difference between busy and burnout. Given that "busy" has become the standard answer to "how are you?", it can be hard to keep track of what being “busy” really means, right? We’ve all got our hands full with work, family, social commitments, and personal projects. But sometimes, what looks like a packed schedule can actually be a sign of something deeper: burnout. So, how do you tell if your friend is just busy or if they’re genuinely burned out? Let’s dive in and break it down.

 

What’s the Difference?

First off, let’s clarify what we mean by busy, burnout and something else.

Busy describes someone actively engaged in lots of tasks. Think of your friend who is juggling work deadlines, kids’ activities, and maybe even training for a marathon. They’re likely feeling productive and fulfilled, even if they’re a bit stressed. Sure, they might grumble about having too much on their plate from time to time, but that stress feels manageable most of the time.

Burnout, on the other hand, is a different beast altogether. It’s that state of complete and chronic exhaustion - emotionally, physically, and mentally - often caused by long-term stress. When someone is burned out, they may feel overwhelmed, disengaged, and totally depleted. This isn’t just about being tired, it’s about feeling like they can’t cope anymore, and it can come with a host of other symptoms, like irritability and a lack of motivation.

If you start noticing changes in a friend that don’t seem quite right, it could be burnout - or something else, like anxiety or depression. This isn’t meant to be a diagnosis, but more of a checklist to help you spot things to look out for. When you know someone well, seeing shifts from what’s normal for them can be a good sign it’s time for a chat. Sometimes, just being there to listen makes all the difference.